Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I kissed a dog, and I liked it

Over the past year, I have noticed a trend in my dog encounters: the dogs have been trying to take things a little too far. I see DogBlog not only as a place to praise dogs, but also as a forum for talking about the issues. That being said, I feel it is necessary to discuss how dogs have no sense of personal boundaries. This is not a huge problem in and of itself (I don't really mind that my dog thinks I am his personal dog bed), but some dogs are crossing the line. The result is that people are getting kissed against their will. I have personally experienced this multiple times, and as a dog-kiss survivor I want to share my stories and advice with others in the hope that we can fix this problem. Awareness is the first step.

Culprit #1:
Name: Scout
Breed: Pembroke Welsh Corgi
Age: one year old
He may look calm in this picture, but don't be fooled. He is merely trying to lull the viewer into a false sense of security before striking. He is famous for rocketing nose-first into people, leaving them feeling powerless and violated.
Scout is a repeat offender.

Culprit #2:
Name: Sam
Breed: German Shepherd
Age: 8 months old (aprox)
(no photo available)
Sam goes for the full face lick. He is huge, so fighting him off is not an option. Prevention is key. Warning signs consist of staring contests lasting over one minute and pacing.

Culprit #3:
Name: Socks (possibly an alias)
Breed: ?
Age: ?
(crazy eyes are the first warning sign)
Like Scout, Socks pretends to fill the role of man's best friend. However, deep down she is only a con artist.
(Socks attacking the children)
Socks' speed makes up for her small build. After spending twenty minutes running away from you and biting your arms/feet/legs, she will bring you her ball in what appears to be a attempt at reconciliation. Beware! As you bend down to get the ball she will lunge at you, licking your face, mouth, or whatever she can get. She will then run away before you know what hit you.
Socks is serving a life sentence in solitary confinement.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Talking Dogs = Awesome

What separates dogs from people? The answer, of course, is the power of speech… and clothes. A dog that can speak is automatically a million times more amazing than your typical dog, and basically comparable to a human.

On a side note, clothes don’t actually make a dog better than average, they just make it funnier and/or creepier: The “Goofy vs. Pluto” debate shows the positive effects speech can have on a dog. Though Goofy and Pluto are both dogs, Goofy gets to ski, go to parties, eat at a dinner table, go to college, and sleep in a real bed. Pluto, without the gift of speech is unable to do any of these things.
Some noteworthy talking dogs:

Wishbone: Arguably the greatest thespian of our time.

Chance and Shadow: Two dogs with determination and strong family values.
Otis: Adventurous dog who breaks down dog and cat stereotypes

Lassie: Communicates telepathically with humans

Tramp: Most romantic dog ever, I mean, most attractive dog ever, I mean...

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Speaking Catlish

Hello again friends!

I just wanted to share an experience I had a couple of days ago with our good friend Jasper. Jasper is a wild beast who graces the house of Alisha Sabrowsky. Our relationship has always been somewhat tense as he tends to completely ignore me at all times until Alisha's family goes on vacation and I am left to decide when he eats. In those situations, we are the best of buds.

Recently, I was talking to Alisha and I heard Jasper meow out. Being a cat person and a freak, I meowed back at him because Alisha had me on speakerphone. Without hesitating, Jasper meowed back and we started up a conversation. It lasted a few minutes and ended in him walking away. It was probably something I said.

I spoke Catlish everyone. This experience was one of the greatest and I may even be able to compare it the time I received a hug from Alisha's father Dwight. Magic.

Until Next Time,
Alyx L. Strawn

The beast called Jasper who condescended to have a conversation with me.

One of the rules of DogBlog is that if one of us talks about cats.. it will mostly always be me who talks about cats.. then she has to post a picture of a dog attacking a cat.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Newest from DogBlog

Okay so it seems to be a trend for people to explain why they are creating blogs. Now me being a trend follower and new to this whole blogging thing, this seems like the most advantageous way to start DogBlog.

Luke was in a tight spot the other weekend. Allison and I inquired if we could be of any help and he explained to us the sitch. He couldn't think of a name for his blog! Without even a word, Allison and I began racking our brains for a good blog name. Lo and behold.. our dear sweet Allison shouted "DogBlog!". No one thought this was a good idea but to be downright honest, we couldn't think of anything else. Luke was all "I can't call my blog DogBlog" and so on a relatively sunny day, I decided to create this piece of work to see what it would eventually be about.

I have no clue where this is going or even if it is going anywhere. All I know is that yesterday Allison was Gooogling "funny dog" in Google Images.

Yours Truly,
Alyx L. Strawn

Just one of the googled images.

And another just for good measure.